Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Hmmm… That’s Romans 8:1. Anytime I see “Therefore” in scripture I wonder, “What is the ‘Therefore’ there for?”. So, we have to look back at Romans 7 and what do you know, there’s Paul’s speech about warring with the “flesh” (sin nature). He says basically the things he doesn’t want to do he does and the things he wants to do he doesn’t do. Check it out:
After all the talk of sin and the law and warring against the flesh and serving God with his mind, we arrive at Romans chapter 8! Freedom! No more bondage! No more condemnation FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS. So many are now asking, how does taking your own life and any of this Romans 8 business have to do with each other! Well, please, let me enlighten you from my perspective.
I’ve recently been searching out the matter of suicide and the judgment of others. I think it comes down to the HEART of the matter. No one knows another person’s heart except God and if someone has a mental disorder that culminates in suicide, shame on us when we point a finger! Or take a person whose journey in life has come to an end. See what Ecclesiastes has to say about life and death: Proverbs 3:5-6 is clear that if you trust God and not yourself and acknowledge Him in all your ways, He will make your paths straight. So what happens when your path has run out of dirt and the only thing left for you in your journey is waiting in eternity? The first thing people usually say is that suicide is so, “Selfish.” And I say, “YES!” if those people are giving up because they are making an impetuous decision and the aftermath is small children without a parent or a spouse with a million questions and as many financial concerns. But still, who are we to sit in the seat of judgment of those who have taken their own lives simply because we’ve been left behind to mourn their loss? Only God can judge the heart of man. My own doctor had to back off when I admitted how real my struggle had become and my resolve in how God would view my decision.
When a person is “terminal” and doctors and nurses are medicating to make the patient “comfortable”, no one is prosecuting them like they did Dr. Kevorkian for assisted suicide. I see no difference really. Both methods expedited the inevitable end of life except the difference is in who gets to make the choice in the medication process. Family members who are left to make the decision to increase the morphine drip on their children dying of cancer are also facing emotions of grief, guilt, and “what if’s”. These are the sterile suicides or self-induced deaths.
Recently, I was viewing a program called Cold Justice and the episode was “The Case Behind the BillBoards”. The family has been waiting 27 years for justice for the death of a daughter/mother of two little girls. The accused killer in the case was her estranged husband and the girls’ father. At the time the show aired, the enormous impact it had taken on the family was obvious as they interviewed the family for facts. About two thirds through the show the viewers were informed that one of her daughters had taken her own life. At the time I viewed the show, I was struggling with my own issues of self-induced death. I saw the pain her absence created for the family. I am in no way passing judgment on this young lady, because I did not walk one day in her shoes nor do I know what other issues she may have dealt with. I am strictly looking at the living. They were scratching and clawing for hope in front of cameras and it wasn’t scripted. It was real, raw emotions.
As I’ve been in this tug-of-war between life and death, I had a dream. I was in my wheelchair and with very little upper body strength I typically fall over without support. In my dream, there was this big trough full of wet cement. I carefully leaned over to look at the cement, but I lost my balance and went head-first into the thick, wet mass. I immediately stuck my arms in to push my head up so that I could breathe, but the cement was starting to set already. I knew at that moment I was going to die.
I had only shared my deepest thoughts on self-induced death with two people and I knew that they would think I had done this on purpose. I had no way of letting them know it was a REAL accident. When I woke up, I began to ask God does this happen often. Do people that have embraced depression to the point of euphoria have accidents that appear they’ve caused their own death? Is it self-fulfilled prophesy? The questions began to invade my thinking and God began a work in my mind.
I still believe everything about the end of life for the terminally ill and their right to choose rather than family members being made to choose or doctors given that right. I still believe that judgment lies with God and not man. I still believe that when life gets hard you don’t just quit. You push back. I still believe in the “BUT GOD” of situations. Remember this above all things, there is a certainty in life: CHANGE. God is faithful and He will change you or your circumstances even when it appears that your journey has come to an end. I write this from experience and live to roll in His grace another day.
rollinginhisgrace 